The questions are going to start rolling in my inbox very soon so here’s something to get you started!

The main question is “what the hell do I need to do next year to FINALLY see those results I keep promising myself?”

I’ve had a day of it today with my Grandad’s funeral, chasing 2 x 2 year olds around a hotel and then some Amino Work Capacity fuelled deadlifts and hang snatches.

An interesting mixture which quite frankly, leaves me in no mood to beat around the bush so let’s get straight in. In fact there is number one!

1) Stop arsing around, kinda trying to lose weight. Commit to focussing on NOTHING but fat loss and health for 28 days from January 3rd.

If you can lose a stone in a month (easily done), then go back to ‘everything in moderation’ and maybe put on a pound or two, you’ll look a damn sight better than you do now.

Imagine if your year went like this.

Month 1 – Lost 14lbs

Month 2, 3 and 4 – put on 3lbs

Month 5 – Lost 14lbs

Month 6, 7 and 8 – put on 3 lbs

Month 9 – Lost 14lbs

Month 10,11,12 – Put on 4lbs

You’ve just lost 32 lbs since Christmas 2010. How different would that make you look (that’s 2 stone 4 by the way)

All it took was 3 committed months out of 12.

(Note – ‘everything in moderation’ leads to moderate results, which won’t make you feel or look any better! Sorry that’s just the way it is)

The Oxford dictionary definition of not arsing around will go like this when they respond to my email.

Arsing around: The act of trying to build muscle, lose fat, improve your 10k run, play more squash and become really flexible all at once when you realise what a Christmas pudding you’ve been.

If it doesn’t help you lose fat, sack it off and stay focussed on one thing. That includes people who don’t help you towards your goals.

That night out with the girls, that tub of Ben and Jerry’s and that glass of wine every evening will ruin things whether you try to justify it with another load of bullsh*t about why red wine is good for you will lead to your usual act of being led around a circle like a prize cow.

2) Play the yes- no game as follows….

Q: Do I arse around every January?

Yes – Stop arsing around

No – You start well then let yourself slip at some point in the year. In other words, you start arsing around.

Q: Am I highly stressed due to work, financial and family pressures?

Yes – Intense exercise may NOT be the way forward and may make your health worse and your waist fatter. Rather than booking in exercise time, book in relaxation time, time with the kids and an hour or two each week to prepare healthy food for the day at work.

Consider supplements that help you sleep and work better at work reducing the need for overtime.

This alone could spark rapid fat loss.

Along with this, reassess what our life is about. You may have lost your way and be drawn into the money=happiness route. It’s a long, slippery slope, snap out of it before you lose everything.

No – Stop being a prat and start busting yourself in a metabolic conditioning class three times a week. If there is an option to lift heavier weights, do it.

Q: Do I surround myself with leaner, stronger, healthier people than myself?

Yes – You’re lying. Either that or you’re not taking their advice. If this is the case, start listening and applying it more. Go to the gym with them instead of your fat friend. They’ll drag you up to their level.

No – Find some. I’m probably one of those people so hang out with me on Facebook more often as I make a point of kicking people’s arses to get moving on their goals. If you are stronger, leaner and healthier than me, please let me know as I want to hang out with you more often.

Q: Do I analyse my exercise each week to see if I am progressively overloading my body? In other words, do I give my body a challenge week in, week out that it has not handled before and must adapt to by becoming leaner or stronger?

Yes – You need someone to push you even harder as your idea of progress may be well below what’s possible and required for noticeable gains. Doing 2 extra push ups after 6 weeks is not enough.

No -Start doing what athlete’s do – funnily enough you will start looking more like one! Record every exercise you do, how many reps you did, the weight you used, the rest you took etc etc. Every week make one or more of those factors more challenging. EVERY WEEK – this first requires turning up to every session every week.

Q: Do you spend 3 hours watching TV each week?

Yes – If you invested that 3 hours in a metabolic conditioning class (NOT a circuit class but one that enables you to measure progress), you’re body will change very fast.

No – Good but do you waste it on other shit like Facebooking people about how bad your day has been?

Q: Are you a skinny man?

Yes – Ignore the above and go lift some big weights. You need muscle to look better not less fat. Go lift like a man with various combinations of the following: Squats, Deadlifts, Pull ups, Overhead presses, Carrying heavy stuff, pulling heavy stuff along the floor, pushing heavy stuff along the floor.

No – Read the previous question. If you spend all day indoors in an office, add some outdoors exercise to get your oxygen levels up. This alone can spark a health drive!

Q: Are you a lady, scared of weights?

Yes – Instead of listening to all the ignorant journalists, take a look at the ladies with the best figures. Fitness models, athletes, tennis players, beach volley ball players…They all do lots of sprints, lift weights and don’t watch much TV. Learn lessons from the people you want to be like. Get these lessons from the horses mouth, not from ‘chinese whisper’ articles that have been altered from the truth about just how hard these girls work in training.

It’s not easy. It will hurt to look great. Anyone who tells you otherwise is half-way into your purse. Break their finger before they steal your money.

No – Good – you’re probably just going to light on the weights expecting that 3 x 20 reps will shape your muscles. It won’t. Just because you’re sweating doesn’t mean your body will change.

Q: Do you think you can just exercise hard to lose fat?

Yes – You’re screwed. Don’t waste your time. You’ll get fitter but look the same or even worse as you might get ’skinny fat’ as all that cardio with no weight training breaks down muscle tissue with no chance of rebuilding but the fat doesn’t go anyway.

No – Excellent. In this case, you’re probably just unsure what to do about nutrition because you’ve listened to people who don’t know how to achieve healthy lasting fat loss. As a result, you’ve either got nowhere, felt crap after a high protein diet, or just got bored of healthy eating.

Find someone who can show you the way because the great news is you’ve got LOADS to learn and it will FINALLY help you shed body fat the healthy way!

Try these on for size:

- Drink 2-3 litres of bottled or filtered water every day

- Drink a greens drink every morning as soon as you get up

- Only eat carbohydrate based food after training. If possible take your post-exercise carbs in powder form so it gets absorbed quickly then make all other meals a vegetable, healthy fat, protein combo.

- Ease off the meat – it is okay in small organic doses

- Eat more fats especially coconut milk and oil, fish oil, olive oil, nuts and seeds,

Q: Are you willing to do all of the above without exception for 28 days?

Yes – Enjoy your new body and come thank me at the end of January – this is just the basics!

No – See you same time next year, probably a few pounds heavier and with a few more health problems!

PS If you want a social support mechanism to ensure you get ALL of the above done, check out www.guernseyfitnesscamp.com

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